Jesus offers a new vision of family

*Sigh*

I just read B's post and could not agree more. I wanted to cry reading it. I've been doing alot of that lately. These past few weeks, I have been an emotional wreck. I have been searching my heart to figure out where exactly it's all coming from. I'll expand more on my blog about the beauty God has been revealing to me, but I want to share the part relating to Juja.

From the start, B and I have been praying this dream would be carried out through us, but that it would not for a moment become about us. We long to please our Father in Heaven. We solely seek to glorify Him.

This summer, I guess you could say that I woke up to a God who has always been there. For the first time in my life, I realized that my life has always been His. He gave me the choice to give it back to Him, and I finally felt like I had. And I told God that this idea of surrendering was scary, but that I was His, and it was His life.

I've felt so frustrated though, because I don't always know what that means. Trying to keep this balance of grace, love, mercy, truth, forgiveness- it can become so difficult. On top of that, I feel everything I think. My mind races at this constant speed with hundreds of thoughts, and I feel every single one of them. Whether that makes sense or not is not the point I guess. I know that I have given Him my life and that he is breaking me apart piece by piece to continue to mold me to the image of Christ. It's not always easy, but it is nothing less than amazing.

It was so cool when I got a text from B the other night reading: "Fight to recall and live what Christ showed you there!" I grew tremendously and learned a great deal this summer in Africa. And it was beautiful to meditate on the memories, the people, and the God I continue to learn more about. Once again, I realized that this life of mine is not mine at all; only His.

That reoccurring question continued to pop up in my mind. What does that mean, God? I was praying for Juja Java, reading, praying for Mathare (the slums we spent our summer in), reading some more. And it was like the pages of Scripture came to life. The truth is, everything I read now reminds me of my summer.

Since we've been back, three passages have screamed out to me the people of Mathare. I read them and I see their faces: "Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generousity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints. And they did not do as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us in keeping with God's will...At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality." 2 Corinthians 8:2-5; 14

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength...And my God will meet All your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 11-13; 19

I read this last passage one morning while in Kenya. It made me think of our friends in Mathare, and I went up to my dear friend Martha and read it to her: "We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints- the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth." Colossians 1: 3-6

It was this summer that I experienced the gospel that was bearing fruit all over the world. It was this summer that I realized that the God worshipped in Kenya, was the same God I worshipped. It was this summer that destroyed the barriers, the labels, the differences. I longer saw American, African, etc., I saw my brothers and sisters in Christ. It was this summer that paved the way for relationships across the world- in the family of God.

Those people are more than just a summer in Kenya. They are my family; wrestling, growing, bearing fruit, living lives worthy of the Lord.


And so my heart continues to beat and break for my long lost family. We are all trying to find our way back to a God who never left our side- who has been there all along.

My prayer is for Juja to play a role in this vision of family; to take in the brusied, beaten, and broken and welcome them into our family.